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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Subject:Glee :(
Time:12:44 am.
The first episode of the second season of Glee isn’t as good as the first episode of the first season. It set up a lot of drama all at once it would have been better if the various plot obstacles evolved over a few episodes rather than spill out all at once.

I think pitting Sue and Will (now friends) against a nefarious Coach Beiste would have been great. Or keeping Sue as the primary villain while introducing Beiste as a slightly unknown element would also have worked, but it feel like the writers tried to do both and it failed.

Quinn tanked her friend for apparently no reason. She wanted to be head cheerleader again but it would have been much more interesting if the character gradually became dissatisfied with being just another cheerleader and after much rumbling dissatisfaction betrayed her friend. Or hell just have her figure out she didn’t enjoy cheerleading anyway.

Rachel has always been a self centered primadonna. She was at times willing to let the Glee club fail rather than give up her spot light, but there she showed personal grown last season realizing the Club was more important than her solo ambition. To say she back slid would be an understatement. She sends a potential rival into an extremely dangerous situation to remove her as competition. The humor in Rachel’s character comes from her overblown self image and flair for the pointlessly dramatic in the new season she is scheming and puts another person in danger. Even as an exaggerated overreaction (which she is known for) it’s too much and not funny.

The songs all sound great, but they felt poorly inserted into the plot line.
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Monday, June 28th, 2010

Subject:Life Sucks Then You Die.
Time:11:28 am.
There is a warrant out for my arrest. My options are pay $1000.00 or go to jail. I was told by Gloria at the city of Euless that the warrant is going to show on any pre job check done on me. So the flurry of job applications I sent out to Wal-Mart and the last dyeing ember of hope resume I sent to [Airline] are unlikely to produce anything before what little I have left in the bank runs out. In an effort to get this cleared up ASAP and if I am insanely lucky have everything resolved before HR checks me out; I called dad to ask for the money. He just blew $700.00 to help Shane out of legal trouble and may have to pay more so he didn’t even entertain giving me $1000.00. I am hesitant to ask my mom for the $1000.00 both because I think she makes less than dad, and because I was planning to ask her for $400.00 for another month of living expenses. Dad did give me the phone number of a lawyer. So I called him. I have no idea how I would pay him as I have no money for food or car payment, and my dad said nothing about paying for the lawyer.

I am very disappointed I won’t get the job at the [Airline]. It would have solved all my (money) problems including this one. I am also disappointed I won’t get the Wal-Mart job. It would have been better than nothing.

Suicide TalkCollapse )
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Monday, June 21st, 2010

Time:11:40 am.
I think I hate my life. I see no chance for a life better than the one I live now. I only see an existence where I perpetually drain from those around me. I exist in a fog of teenish angst minus the naive hope for a better future. Suicide is steadily becoming a more appealing alternative to continuing on in my current state, a state I feel is unalterable. The one flaw in the suicide alternative is I don’t actually want to be dead. It just the self mutilation and dramatic cry to the universe that accompanies the act that appeals, death is the unfortunate side effect. Nothing gets solved.
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Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

Time:4:35 pm.
I have printed out a list of employment agencies in my area, and a stack of resumes. Tomorrow I have a project.
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Monday, February 8th, 2010

Subject:step one to homeless... check
Time:4:08 pm.
I was laid off, and I am now out of work. I applied to various jobs before getting laid off and one of them called back and I did a phone interview. If I wasn’t unemployed I wouldn’t even think about taking this job. It is work at home and part time. The amount I get paid is dependent on how many people I refer to “websiteX” opt in to the advertising offer. I hate that my pay would be dictated by the whims of strangers. Even more unsettling I have been to “websiteX” saw the advertising offer and thought “I really don’t need more spam” and opted out. So my pay would be dictated by the amount of people signing up for something I would not.

Still it’s a job and, hate being unemployed, and the low number on their part time pay estimate was just slightly under what I made at Kem-Tex. I get the impression that this job has a lot of turnover and I don’t want a string of short term job on my resume. Not that a long stretch of unemployment would look any better.

Some people take the being unemployed as an opportunity to go back to school. I wonder if I could do that. Even with grants I would have to take substantial loans to cover my bills and school. I should just face the fact that I am destined to become a homeless person.
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Subject:Battle Plans and the First Engagement.
Time:11:53 am.
I had my day planned out. I would be done with my shower and shave by Noon. That way I would give my hair time to air dry by 2pm which is when I leave for the funeral which is at 3pm.

I found out at 11am that my roommates / ride were going to pick up someone at the airport and be at the funeral place to help set up by 1. So I ran in to the bathroom planning to shower and shave with the speed of a hurried ninja and the grace of an only slightly drunk camel. As I was covered in soap (11:05ish) I hear a banging at the bath room door and a call telling me that they had to leave NOW. Not wanting to look like a slob at the funeral I told them I would drive myself and they could go.

I hate looking like the unreliable one. I know we had had the talk about going to the funeral in one car. It was in the kitchen when I told Ruby when / where the funeral was. She didn’t know because she isn’t on Facebook / hadn’t talked to Atma yet. If I hadn’t gotten up before they left would they have just been gone leaving me behind or would I have gotten an impatient knock on my bedroom door insisting it was time to leave at 11:05.

ANYWAY I am off to get ready. I suppose a red shirt would be inappropriate but it goes so well with my nice pants…
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Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Time:11:14 am.
This is a reply to a personal add I posted.

I have to ask you, are you a practicing witch.

You look extremely powerful, and I LOVE power.

I also enjoy very much being hypnotized, are you into that?

I LOVE witches and seriously fantasize about magick in all its forms and manifestations

if my bf mailbox is full, email me:


please stay in touch
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Saturday, December 12th, 2009

Subject:Social Anxiety
Time:11:02 am.
Last night a friend of mine took me to a Gay Bar to meet friends of his who he is in a Club with. I pretty much followed him around like a lost puppy most of the night. He introduced me to everyone and that brief “Timrehix this is Jack, Jack this is Timrehix” was about all the conversation I had. As I was standing there, watching the Wii bowling and not making eye contact with anyone. I started thinking. I think I have Social Anxiety.

I am torn on whether or not I have Social Anxiety Disorder because according to Wikipedia the anxiety must be “Extreme, persistent and disabling” and although I was unable to approach anyone and thinking back I am always unable to approach unfamiliar people in large unstructured social gatherings I am fine with people I know well, or in general public. I once on the fly addressed a room full of strangers and ran a drawing forum, so I don’t think I am disabled. I just can’t approach new people. If they approach me I am fine.
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Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Subject:I hate money.
Time:11:30 am.
I wrote a review on my old apartments and posted it on http://www.apartmentratings.com. From what I read it appears that my situation is very common to the people moving out from there.

When I decided to move out it was less than 60 days till my lease was up. So to give my 60 days I stayed an extra month. They didn’t tell me when I decided to do this that that last months rent would be $150.00 higher than my usual rent.

Two weeks after I moved in to my new place I received a letter telling me I owed then over $1100.00 and if I didn’t pay promptly there would be legal action. About 200.00 of the 1100.00 was reasonable. I hadn’t for instance turned in my keys yet, and I left some stuff in the apt when I moved out they had to dispose of and they were charging me for that. But the bulk of the bill was an 875.00 Concession Charge Back, which is for breaking my lease without giving 60day notice. Not only did I give 60days, I stayed an extra month and paid $150.00 extra to do it.

So now I owe all this money, have a threat of lawsuit, and risk taking a major hit on my credit rating. From what I read here this isn't an uncommon occurrence with these people. I would recommend living some where else if you can afford it, it you can t then just make sure you document all your dealings with them. Protect yourself.

I plan to call and try to sort things out but it looks like I will either pay or be sued. Its money I don’t have. And if I have to pay then I will have to put it on my credit card, if I do that then I defiantly wont be able to pay off the balance before the 0% interest expires. It’s like every time I try to get things going in the right direction some road block pops up. I have been really diligent about getting here at 9:00 lately (My official on time for work is 9:30 and I am/was usually in by 10:00 instead) I don’t want to come in at 8 or come in on weekends but I might have to start. (if they will let me work that much over time.)

UPDATE: They are going to wave the $875.00. And when I drop off the keys they will take 75.00 off the rest. So I only owe a little over 100.00 for things like cleaning and outstanding utilities.
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Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Time:4:08 pm.
I just want to assure my readers (both of you) that I am not turning in to one of those people who post stupid Videos and surveys on their blog. I am just really in to Glee right now and seeing the various iterations of the songs/dances they perform is very interesting to me. As is hot men dancing. If any one knows how to make a cut let me know.

The Glee Version (Kirk not Football)

The Baby Dance Version

The Hot Man Baby Dance Version

To see the video from witch all this sprang go here “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g”
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Thursday, October 15th, 2009

Time:11:48 am.
This is the original Glee Version.

This is the hot bear version.
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Friday, October 9th, 2009

Subject:Oblio is dead, Long live...?
Time:3:09 pm.
This morning I woke up a little bit late. I have been trying to get to work on my “punctuality problem” so I got ready and out the door in lightning speed. I was going to be late to work but not too bad, all in all I was happy with my pace. I was sitting at a light about a block away from work when my car quit. “Thank you. Have a nice day – DEAD.”

I called work and I called the tow people. About an hour after Oblios’ death I was at Van Hyundai looking to get him repaired. It turns out, to get Oblio moving again will be ~$500. There are 2 other issues that are about to pop as well and need to be taken care of in the near future. So I would eventually have to pay ~$1200 to keep Oblio afloat.

My father pointed out that I could trade in Oblio fork over the $1200 as a down payment and get a new car under warrantee. So we looked at 2008 Hyundai Elantras. Right now if every thing goes according to plan I will end the day, with a new car, a maxed out credit card, a higher car payment, and a 40,000mi warrantee.

While the $1200 credit card debt is freaking me out, is money I likely would have spent on the card anyway just over the course of a few months not all at once. I am essentially buying the entire car on credit.

This freaked me out so much I called Ruby to beg for a lower monthly rent. She then informed me that we had agreed on less per month than I though so I ended up freaking out over eminent debt and calling my landlord and asking her to raise my rent. Stress will do that to you.

Teresa thinks I should ask my mom for money, but I don’t want to be a mooch. I get the feeling that my mom really doesn’t have the money to lend (give) right now any way. It might be that I am just used to asking Ed for money and dealing with the drama/humiliation of that, so I expect it from mom too. Ed gives me a hard time and he had a Mercedes, two story house, and a huge flat screen HD TV which looks freakin SWEET. All of these are markers of wealth or “comfortable finance” that my mother doesn’t have so I think of him as being better able to loan (give) money than my mom.

Blake will be glad to get his name off the title. He has been wanting me to do that for months now.

On a less stressing note, any ideas what I should name my new car? I am thinking Schmendrick, which has the double meaning of being an amusing character in The Last Unicorn and a Yiddish word for a bumbling fool.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Subject:Interior Design
Time:4:44 pm.
Ok, I have my room floor plan all thought up. I am not sure the proportions of the room Ruby said it was 9’x9’, but I think its 10’x10’. Without measuring I won’t know for sure. Assuming the room is big enough this is the plan. After much thought I won’t cover the window. I will try to put some sort of window covering on it for privacy and aesthetics. I will also leave the doors off the closet and cover that with a drape as well.

For this lay out I will need to get a book shelf, TV stand, computer stand, and rug. The rug is the only thing I need to get right away because it needs to go down before we put the water bed up. I plan to do that next week. Everything else can trickle in as I get spending money. I want to get black red and/or grey for the rug. The few bits of furniture I already have are black and grey, so any new furniture should match. I will need to work red in to the rest of the room, probably pillows and in the draperies.

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Time:2:20 pm.
I couldn’t move out of my apartment in September because my apartments require 60 days notice and I didn’t decide to move until August 2nd. So I have to pay the “market rate” of my apartment for the month of October which is $150.00 dollars more than my regular rent. That 150.00 was my moving budget. Boxes, tape and if I was lucky a rug, and furnature were going to be bought with about $200.00 I had tried to ear mark just for the move. What’s worse is this is money I had planed to spend at the end of the month not the beginning so I have to take it out of my food/ entertainment budget. Unfortunately I already spent a chunk of my budget last weekend eating out with my future new room mate.

So while I am exceptionally poor even for me now, at least I just got a credit card so I can cover my bills.

Edit: more than boxes and tape, the money was going to go towards furniture so I could have places to put my stuff once it was taken out of boxes.
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Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

Subject:~\o Some Times You Need a Little Help From Your Friends o/~
Time:10:33 pm.
I know a lot of artistically gifted people. While my own artwork is improving and I occasionally create something really cool that I am proud of a majority of the time I feel like the little brother trying to play with the big kids when I just lack the abilities. Eventually I will catch up but right now I am stumbling around making a fool of myself, while the older kids just humor me.

I have created what I think is a really cool design, but I have progressed about as far as my current skill level will go with it. I drew it in paint and want to have it colored. I created it for my Guild in an online game Aion. If it gets colored and approved it will be the official design of our Guild “Spectrum Blade.”

Would any be willing to try your hand at giving the design color? You can use this picture or start from scratch, add design or texture. I just want to keep the Celtic theme of the design and the edges of the graphic have to be the color in the square so it will blend with our in game flag.

The dagger is modeled after a Celtic dagger. I wove the rays (which are supposed to resemble wings) together in an attempt to evoke the feeling of Celtic knot work. I used six rays because as a GLBT legion I thought we could fly our colors, one for each ray (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, and Lilac)

The markings in the center of the blade spell out “Spectrum Blade” in Ogham, which according a Wikipedia is the Celtic Alphabet.

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Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Time:4:38 pm.
I want to quit my job and go to college full time.

I am miserable right now and feel unhirable and worthless. (I know that this is probably not true, what/how you feel isn’t influenced by logic.) I would love to go to college and I feel myself getting older and the older I get the less time I have to benefit from a college education when I am done with college. Every year I think, if I had a Bachelors or a Masters I could be working at a job I really enjoy, and make enough money to grab at life. But instead I have to work to live. And I can’t do full time school because I work. Some people can go to school full time, raise 3 kids and, work 60 hours a week. I can’t.

In order to live, I estimate I need $12,000.00 a year. This will pay rent, car, food, gym, and leave money for misc expenses. (new car battery, doctor, comic books, ect) College is about $400.00 a credit. (This is not Brookhaven pricing.) 12 credits a semester = $4,800.00. Two semesters a year = $9,600.00. If I assume $100.00 a book, on book per class, four classes a semester that’s $800.00 in books a year. So $10,400.00 for school and 12,000.00 to live. I would need $22,400.00 a year in loans and financial aid to just be a student. $89,600.00 for four years and that is not going to happen.

What MIGHT happen is I keep my job, and take one class a semester at Brookhaven until I get my Associates.

You know going to college isn’t even about eventually getting a good job. It’s about self improvement; something I feel I need. I want the feeling of accomplishment that some with completion. Right now I just feel like I failed. I work for my father which caries with it the taint of nepotism and the implication that I only have the job because he is my father. I am loosening my apartment, because I can’t afford it. While I am looking forward to moving in with Ruby it still feels like I lost my apartment and thus am incapable of living on my own unsupported.

The root of this whole thing could be, just another one of my downward mood swings, lack of a good job, or lack of money, but it’s really just me. I am my own problem. What I need to fix is me once that is cleared up everything else will improve.
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Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Subject:Solve for i
Time:5:04 pm.
I got this off a fairly popular web site so just ignore me if you have seen this before. I want to see if people who haven’t seen the answer still come up with the same cutsie answer the original author of the equation came up with. I went through the math and came up with a different answer then realized I did a step wrong and redid the equation. The second time I got the same answer as the author.

And it’s a good exercise to see if you remember your high school algebra.

9x – 7i > 3(3x-7u)

If any one wants the answer I will post it.
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Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Subject:Dragon Con 2009
Time:5:08 pm.
So I was looking for pictures of hot beefy guys in nothing but body paint and look what I found.

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Friday, September 11th, 2009

Subject:A Place to Rest my Head
Time:2:10 pm.
One of the challenges I will be facing when I move in with Ruby will be my lack of bed. There are plans to try and get a water bed for me. But I also want a rug in my room. Putting a rug in after setting up the water bed would be troublesome. And at the moment it isn’t 100% that I will be able to get a free water bed frame.

In one of my trademark flashes of brilliance* I thought maybe I could get a Hammock. It would be a good temporary sleeping arrangement and when I did get my rug and bed (water or otherwise) I could move it out to the back yard, patio or garage. Or as a fairly creative threesome we could do something clever with it.

*The brilliance of which are often debated long after the wreckage has been cleared.


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Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Time:6:54 pm.
I had to call GEICO today. the guy I talked to was nice, when I hung up I made sure to say he did a “great job.” I think Ruby once told me they get extra points or something if their customer says that.
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